"Fear"

I feel as if I'm drowning
Trying to catch my breath...
Struggling...
Only to be pulled further under.
Confusion has set in.
Pain has always been there
But now is unbearable..

My only escape used to be
My own dream world.
But now it's creeping,
seeping through into my slumber.
Now I awake
With tears on my pillow
And fear in my heart...

Afraid to be alone
Afraid that you'll never be.
Afraid to turn around
And find that all is gone.
Wondering through this world
Like a lost soul.
Passing through other lives
Never finding one of my own.

Too much chaos
That I cannot be found.
Why didn't I know
This was how it's going to be?
Talking to myself
Just to get through the darkness.
Unable to shake the fear,
The confusion...
The pain...
The aching...

I ache and yearn,
Yearn to be found.
Yearn to be touched.
Yearn to be alive.
Yearn to be loved.
Yearn to be something to you.
Yet I am still invisible.
You see right through me
As if I don't exist.
I bared my soul
Only to get pain in return...

©
Written ~ 03.27.07